Death hits home again

For the rest of the story, see media links at the bottom of this post. I've also included a link to a photo album posted on Facebook. Thank you, Brian (on 2007.10.09 Tuesday)

Monday, October 1, 2007

Timothy and Joshua Schrauger, ages 14 and 17, were killed in a car accident on Saturday afternoon. Professionals at the scene believe their deaths were instantaneous.

The Detroit News has just posted an article with details: Deaths add to family's trials: Teens die in crash as GI brother heals. (Click on the title to see the online report.)

Timothy and Joshua are the youngest sons of my brother, Cliff, and his wife, Vicki. Their oldest son, David, is still fighting to recover from life-threatening wounds incurred last June. He is in the army and was serving in Iraq where a Humvee in which he was riding hit an IED.

Pictured Left to Right: Vicki and Cliff Schrauger, Kate (David's fiancé),
Joshua and Timothy Schrauger

You can read David's story in the post I wrote, Radical Islam hits home. That same post includes directions to the online blog of David's story. And now, as well, the first announcement of his youngest brothers' deaths.

David Schrauger's fiancé, Kate, greets him in the
Brook Army Medical Center near San Antonio, Texas

I am leaving Jerusalem tonight instead of this coming Saturday, arriving in Detroit, Michigan early Tuesday morning. Timothy and Joshua's combined funeral is Thursday afternoon, October 4.

I'm not certain, but I think the service will be held in their school's auditorium: Lake Orian High School near Pontiac, Michigan.

On a personal note, I cannot help but wonder: during this trip to Israel, starting our new program, death has struck my partner's family and my own. Greg's mother died about a week ago.

I know that my nephews' deaths are not about me. But I too have had a son die. No parent should have to go through this lifelong amputation of the soul.

And so I ask and wonder, "G-d, wasn't one Schrauger child enough? What is going on? And why? I know that you are good, but your goodness is to me an almost terrifying mystery. But. To whom else shall I turn? Who else can I fully trust with my messy, raw and wounded heart? Only you. Only you."

Standing with my horrified family, and together in the need of prayer,

Brian

Post Script on Tuesday, October 9, 2007:
Here are several links to media reports that tell the rest of this story.Each one is very well done. The last link is to a personal photo album.Thank you for your generous expressions of love expressed to all our family.

1. Two sons killed in traffic accident, October 2, 2007: Article and video reports
   
2. Things will never be the same, October 5, 2007: Article and photos
3. Farewell friends: 2 brothers remembered, October 5, 2007: Article and photos
4. Death of 2 sons only part of the story, October 7, 2007: Article
5. Schrauger family days: portraits of love and sorrow, a personal photo album
   

Is Jesus G-d?

May 31, 2007

It's a biggie. But this question is not my primary problem with G-d.

Still, no doubt: the issue is a sizzler. About 12 days ago an Israeli news agency reported: Chief Rabbinate Finalizes Ban on Christian Women's Conference. The facts are pretty clear. Israel's Chief Rabbinate (CR) issued a ban forbidding Jewish participation in two "Christian-sponsored conferences." The reason? In spite of advertised objectives to focus on social issues, the CR decided that both events were subtle attempts to persuade Jews "that Jesus is Messiah."

Neither conference was cancelled, however. And last week all sponsors announced success.

But oh the uproar that this ban provoked. Is Jesus the Messiah? Is he G-d?. In 131 Talkbacks there was a scathing storm of words. People on all sides of the issue called each other liars, idolaters and traitors.

It was nauseating. Not because people embrace different answers than I. And not because of anyone's intensity or passion. This question is anything but easy. Arguably it's not even nice. Those who wrestle with it should be fighting hard.

But for heaven's sake with G-d, not each other! Why? Because the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob blessed his people by naming them Israel, a wonderfully descriptive word that means "he who contends with G-d." It is a designation that is an invitation too.

The idea of G-d inviting us to wrestle shocks a lot of people. In fact I think it's self-evident that most monotheists believe G-d is someone to whom we must submit or die.

The word Islam, for example, means submission--although Muslims are hardly the only ones who approach G-d from this paradigm. Many if not most Christians believe the only way to G-d is submit or die. Sure they have different dogmas than Islam, but it's still submit-or-die.

And moi? As a defendant in G-d's Court of Law here's my affidavit: Jesus is the Messiah. What's more he is the uniquely singular Son of G-d. Meaning that he is, at once, completely human and completely G-d.

So, this means my faith's at ease because I have "right" answers? Oh sure, life's a breeze. The 10 zillion problems raised by my affirmations don't bother me a bit. Like: if this answer's true, why has G-d allowed so many atrocities in Jesus' name?

Ah, but perhaps my sworn testimony is an attempt to convert those who disagree--or maybe recruit gullibles who've never thought about it, hmm? Right; as if I can change anybody's heart about anything. Shoot, I can't even convert myself to stop eating junk food.

But at the very least doesn't my affirmation mean that I regard myself superior to those who answer differently? G-d forbid. Hear me on this: regardless of your answer, you are alright with me.

Why? Cuz charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, and words alone are cheap. Anyone can say anything. This is Torah truth, not mine: it is the heart G-d's after. And what kind of heart? Get this: a circumcised one; yup, one that's been cut up with a knife, then left wounded and scarred for life.

And that's why my biggest problem with G-d isn't the question about Jesus.

Go ahead, take a look. My wife and I are proud parents to 3 sons. They are wonderfully unique. I love each one so much I would gladly give my life to rescue theirs.

My biggest problem with G-d culminated 7 years ago today. That's when one of our sons died. His name is Taylor and he was four days shy of turning 12 years old.

He didn't die at the hands of evil men or by a sudden accident. Instead for 2 long years he fought a war with cancer. It literally hacked off an entire hip and leg, then maimed his torso too. In spite of all my tearful prayers, G-d did not rescue him from 24 months of torture or from a horrific death.

So what have I done with this, my biggest problem with G-d?

I have done the same thing Taylor always did with me. Even in agony and knowing that I could not take his place, he always accepted my invitation to move toward dad.

Sometimes his fists wailed away at pillows that I used to help absorb the blows. But most of the time my son turned to me and held on tight. Resting his head on my chest, we talked and laughed and cried. Somehow he found nourishment in my heartbroken love. It is the greatest honor I have ever known.

That's why I thank my divine Opponent for naming his people Israel. Sometimes it's tempting, but I don't have time to fight with you. I'm too busy wrestling in muck and mire with G-d, clinging in my woundedness to him, crying out in protest and in pride,

My son! My Son!! MY SON!!!

Impossible

May 14, 2007:

Last night I was reading a novel enjoying the escape into make-believe. Then without warning the author used a character to thrust a sucker-quote. It cut my heart so fast at first I didn't feel it. Then all at once my mind protested, Ow! And, wow.

"There are three stages in every work of G-d: Impossible; Difficult; Done."
(attributed to J. Hudson Taylor, 1832-1905)

Impossible, ha! Along with a number of colorful expletives Impossible! has been the protest assaulting my brain and hammering my heart for two weeks and a day. That's how long it's been since my soul "heard" a burning-bush kind of order, a Level 10 command from God: "Go! Return to Israel!"

Trust me, I know how that sounds. On Sunday morning, May 6, while driving in my car it was an unmistakable mandate. But as days and weeks have passed jeering thoughts have mocked what seemed to be so clear. "A call from God? Yeah, right. Impossible."

I was just there, in Israel, last February. Our oldest son is a student in Jerusalem where he has lived 2 years. The main reason for that visit was spending time with him.

But there was another thing, a wild dream shared with an old college friend. His name is Greg Cromartie. For about 30 years he has engineered, produced and hosted countless radio programs. Our far-fetched aspiration, something only G-d could pull off? Develop and produce our own radio program: one that is...

• A regular broadcast aimed at English-speaking goyim listeners in N. America,
• A lively, you-are-there kind of production that brings our audience the voices and the sounds of Israel,
• A platform featuring patriotic and provocative Israelis,
• A format urging listeners to listen, and listen hard, to Israeli points of view,
• And so perhaps for all of us to hear the heart of G-d himself.

When I returned to the U.S. on February 26 Greg and I realized that we had secured:

1. A U.S. radio network willing to put our program on their satellite,
2. An Israeli news network willing to let us use any of their broadcast materials,
3. A well-connected Israeli citizen who can get us in front of almost anybody in that country's government,
4. An serendipitous new friendship with a man named Sam who has just started a job as the most recently appointed Director at Yad Vashem--aka, The Holocaust Museum: the very soul of Israel.

Basically Greg and I found ourselves with a wealth of material to produce a program.

Everything except for funding. Of course. And how much would it take to get our broadcast on the air by Yom Kippur this fall? Only about $300,000.00.

Impossible.

Which is why 15 days ago when I "heard" God's order, my first reaction was something like, "Impossible!" And to which I felt, in response, a deep, unhappy growl.

After clearing it with a few close friends, and especially my wife, that same day I booked another trip. While Debbie and our youngest son are at a boys' camp for four-and-a-half weeks, I will be in Israel. I leave on Wednesday, June 6, and am scheduled to return on Monday, July 9.

After charging the airline tickets to a credit card I drafted an overall budget for a month in Israel: $10,000.00. That's big--big--money for us. It is in fact impossible.

Within days of committing myself to the trip, $3,500.00 of the needed $10,000.00 came in. And since? Nada but a number of looks that seem to question my sanity. Not that I don't wonder too...

So, wanna sink some shekels into an impossible thing? Send money now.

And if the remaining balance doesn't show up before it's time to leave? I find this prospect terrifying. Only one thing scares me more; I've heard that growl and do not want to hear him roar.

Brian